For Men Only

By:  Donna Martin

This is a message just for men.  If you are a wife do not forward or share it with your husband.  He won’t appreciate it if you do.  However, if you are a man, if you know someone who you think might be interested in this blog, please share it with him.  Thanks!

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about giving your spouse the perfect Valentine’s gift.  For a man, the best gift his wife could give him is respect.  However, for a wife the best gift from you is your love.  Let’s look a little more closely at what that means.  This past Sunday in our Bible study class, our passage was 1 Corinthians 11:1-16.  Our teacher, Jonathan Teague, taught an excellent lesson and presented a light on this passage that I had never thought about.  A quick read of this passage might cause us to think Paul was reminding women that they should be considerate of the custom of covering their heads during worship.  But there is a little more to think about in these words.  In verse 3 Paul states, “…the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”

Just as Christ covers us with his love and offers us grace, a man should cover his wife with his love.  If you love something or someone, you protect it.  You cover it with your protection and love.  So how can you better love and protect your wife?

Cover your wife physically.  Women are always caring for others – the children, the house, the food, the laundry, the car-pooling, and the doctor’s appointments.  I know that many men help with these things, and that is great if you do.  But sometimes we women just need someone to care for us.  You can protect your wife physically by making sure that she takes care of her own needs.  Make sure she has time to relax and to spend on things that she likes to do, not just things that she has to do.  Think about how you can serve your wife in this way.  Ask her what you can do to help her know that you care for her. 

Cover your wife emotionally.  Listen to your wife.  Listen to your wife without giving advice.  Sometimes women need to talk about things that bother them.  They need their husband to listen without giving advice or fixing anything.  Also, protect your wife emotionally by sharing your thoughts, dreams, feelings and needs with her.  Communication about anything good or bad is the key to building a strong marriage.  It is so heartbreaking to talk to a woman whose husband has left her and she had no idea that anything was wrong.  If your wife is doing something that makes you unhappy or upsets you, tell her.  Don’t worry if it causes an argument, work through it.  Tell her what you need and ask her what she needs.  Comfort her, listen to her, talk to her, and be honest with her.  These are all ways to protect her emotionally.

Cover your wife spiritually.  A man is the spiritual leader of the home. Pray for her and with her.  Read the Bible with her and take the lead to bring your family together for family devotionals.  Have conversations with her about spiritual things.  Go to church with her and your children.  Get involved in the Bible Study groups provided by your church.  Go on mission trips together.  Draw close to God individually and as a couple.

I am sure it is sometimes an overwhelming job for a man to cover his wife with the love and protection she needs.  It was hard for Jesus to cover us with his love.  He needed the strength and guidance of his father and he often prayed.  Stay close to God.  Pray for your wife and for your marriage.  Ask God to help you be the husband that he wants you to be. 

The Martins are available to present “Happy Together” Marriage Enrichment Events for churches and organizations.  To schedule an event call Michael at 940-735-1515. They are certified “Prepare/Enrich” Facilitators and are available to work with couples on an individual basis using the “Prepare/Enrich Assessment.”  They publish a weekly “Happy Together” Blog about family and marriage issues.  You can order copies of their new books Dancing With Death and 366 Tidbits We Have Learned in 14,610 Days of Marriage, read, and subscribe to their “Happy Together” Blog by logging onto the Martin’s website at www.happytogethermarriages.com.