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Dreary Days

By:  Donna Martin

I woke up and looked out the window only to discover it was another cloudy day.  It had been one of those weeks when the sun had not appeared.  Each day the sky had been dreary and cloudy.   Once in while a few sprinkles would fall, but most of the time the clouds just hung there doing nothing but hiding the sun and filling each day with gloominess.  I wished it would storm, rain, and clear up.  I was tired of the heaviness in the atmosphere.

Have you ever experienced a gloomy week in your relationship with your spouse?  Something was said or done that brought in the clouds.  The air was filled with tension and it felt like a storm of conflict could break out at any minute.  Each of you felt heaviness in your heart, but you both wished it would just go away.  You did not want to experience a storm of harsh words, or face up to your own shortcomings; much less apologize because, of course, it was not your fault.  You just hoped that if you ignored the clouds they would go away and everything would be back to normal.  You longed for the reassurance of kind words and pleasant communication mixed with lots of hugs and laughter.

Conflicts are an inevitable part of marriage.  Even though they make us uncomfortable, mess up a few hours or days of our lives, and expose our faults, they can also be good for our relationships.  They can actually be beneficial.

Just imagine what would happen to your garden if there was never rain.  The plants would not grow and produce fruit or flowers.  Just like rain, conflicts are a natural part of any relationship.  If handled correctly they can actually cause our relationships to grow stronger, they can help us see things from our spouse's perspective, they can teach us new ways of doing things, and they can help us become more mature.

The Martins are available to present “Happy Together” Marriage Enrichment Events for churches and organizations.  To schedule an event call Michael at 940-735-1515. They are certified “Prepare/Enrich” Facilitators and are available to work with couples on an individual basis using the “Prepare/Enrich Assessment.”  They publish a weekly “Happy Together” Blog about family and marriage issues.  You can order copies of their new books Dancing With Death and 366 Tidbits We Have Learned in 14,610 Days of Marriage, read, and subscribe to their “Happy Together” Blog by logging onto the Martin’s website at


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