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Fixing Financial Friction

By:  Donna Martin

Finances are one of the major conflicts in a marriage.  And it is no wonder; because how you manage your money is greatly affected by how you were raised and your expectations that have developed about money over the years.

For example:

  1. A spender marries a saver
  2. One spouse is from a wealthy background the other from a background of simple means
  3. One spouse was raised in a home where both spouses’ worked outside the home – the other was raised in a home where one spouse stayed home with the children while the other spouse worked
  4. One spouse was raised in a home where the father managed the money – the other was raised in a home where the mother managed the money
  5. One spouse grew up with an allowance – the other spouse grew up with a credit card
  6. One spouse grew up in a home that tithed – the other spouse grew up in a home where tithing was not practiced

No matter how you were raised or what your expectations are, it is important that you discuss your plan for managing your money.  Working together on a budget is of utmost importance.

Philippians 4:11-13 is a very important attitude to have in a marriage.  It says:

“…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

Being content can help couples have a happy marriage.  A wife who is content fulfills her husband’s need to provide for her.  A husband who provides for his wife helps her feel loved cherished.

Being rich is not the answer to being happy.  Being happy comes from being content and loving each other unconditionally.  It is better to wear the same outfit every day, drive an economical car, and live in a small house that is filled with love than to have all that money can buy, drive a new expensive car, and live in a mansion that is filled with tension, strife and discontentment.

Be good stewards of everything that God gives you.

The Martins are available to present “Happy Together” Marriage Enrichment Events for churches and organizations.  To schedule an event call Michael at 940-735-1515. They are certified “Prepare/Enrich” Facilitators and are available to work with couples on an individual basis using the “Prepare/Enrich Assessment.”  They publish a weekly “Happy Together” Blog about family and marriage issues.  You can order copies of their new books Dancing With Death and 366 Tidbits We Have Learned in 14,610 Days of Marriage, read, and subscribe to their “Happy Together” Blog by logging onto the Martin’s website at

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